And I Never Miss the Town Back Home

Artwork by Alessandro Mulya

To be an adult in a rural city is to send your child to the metropolitan city; it might not always be the case, but a lot of my friends’ parents ( and myself included ) always seek a chance to do so. Be it college or work or both at the same time, it is considered a privilege and a personal satisfaction to send your kids to be successful out there at the concrete jungle.

I moved to the city with all the lights that it brings, barely understood any roads and struggling to made friends, but if stretch it five years ahead, I regret I was ever worried about those things. The things that are dearest to you will always stay close and never drift away; especially if you love them. I don’t have to be the social butterfly all the time to prove I belong in this city — that’s just blatantly wrong. The same rules also applies backwards.

The things that you dislike most will always distance itself from you emotionally…and you never want to remember those things.

For me, the old city that I lived in was one of them — and also the past life that it carries. You heard it sometimes…all of the people carry their own emotional baggage, and they come in many form and sizes. And even with all the beautiful things that has happened, sometimes it is best to leave the tiny sliver of pearl behind, especially if it’s been drowned in the mud. If you could retrieve it, then by all means do it, but if you don’t, it never was worth the hassle anyway.

See, the thing about bad memories is that it stays with you, sometimes for years and years, but you can leave it where it is supposed to be…and let the scars heal itself, little by little.

“But won’t it leave a mark?”

Yes, yes it will. But like your nose that stays at all time on your eyesight, you learn to ignore it. To just let it be like that. Bad memories do linger, but they never take your attention for a lot of time, especially as the time goes on. At the moment, it does felt a little bit worrisome and heart beating, but nevertheless, it will go on and dwindle away.

The memories that are precious to you will linger too, but they are more wholesome to keep around — for all the right reasons. And the bad ones get replaced with new set of good memories, just waiting ahead of you…because I always told myself, “the bad days aren’t forever.” And boy, was I right about that. Sure, you might consider the journey you will be taking, and perhaps you could overthink a little bit about all the worse things that could happen, but that’s not to say that better things could also be waiting ahead. If I was afraid to leave my old town, I would never met any of the hundreds people I get to know during my past six years. And it’s been a hell of a time indeed.

The sun will always shine and a new day is waiting, although that may be easier said than done, but hell, everything is a process that is waiting to be undertaken. Whose to say that the decision you took is the right one? Nobody could know that, not even yourself. But with each passing day, the heartbreak will fade a little more, the sad stories will be retold as a growing experience, and all the wounds and scars began to close, too. And it’s never too late to make all the right decisions — be it now, a month, or a year later. Hopefully all the bad day will just remain a gruesome 24 hours of our life and nothing more. We have more than 1.000.000 hours left and I don’t have to count those down…I make the move myself. And,

I never miss the town back home.

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